Let’s make this first paragraph be short, simple and to the point, my son and daughter are still both lying and being “childish”  Contrary to them telling me they are adults and I can’t run their lives…….how can I run it from Tn? (Redundant question)  That is where I am leaving it, I don’t have the space nor the energy to go into the dramatic details of their complicated lives.  I like my boring life, that is where I am leaving it.  :-D

In October I had Oral surgery to remove all of my top teeth, due to reason the Docs have no clue……sound very repetitive doesn’t it. lmao  The surgery went well, I had it 5 days before my 42 birthday, which made no difference, I felt great afterwards, and that was all that mattered.  Ok……….having no top teeth is 3 past WEIRD lmao.  You have to choose “CAREFULLY” what you eat.  For 41& 3/4 of your life you could eat anything, and  now…………………………yeah not so much…LMAO.   Just a couple for instances: Tortilla chips BIG NO NO, learned the hard way lmao.  Veggie burger………..nope, you take it apart cut it up in very small pieces and eat with a fork  lmao.  Lettuce & onions, who knew you had to actually chew those items…..I do now! lol   Practically anything that requires your teeth grinding and chewing the food into almost nothingness, I can’t eat without choking on LMAO.  Did you know how much you use your front top teeth to pull food?  I do!  lmao   My diet for the first month or so consisted of lots of jello pudding,  jello, smoothies, cheap ass tv dinners mashed potatoes, corn, peas, all those goodies, you get the idea.  I went to t he dentist that is fitting my Dentures for me and i wanted them to go ahead and get approval so we can get the process started, so I can find out how much i am having to pay out on my end, she said she would have to call them and then call me back with the price.  Then they proceed to tell me for the first time how long it will take for the denture molding and preparations will take, approximately 2.5 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have already been without my top teeth since the 25th of October, now I am looking at 2.5 MORE months?????  (Adam Sandler reference) Once again, this is something that could have been brought to my attention MONTHS ago!!!  But, no we spring this little surprise on me out of the blue.  Do they do this to all their patients, or was I randomly selected for the “Most surpsised look on my face video” at their yearly Christmas party???  WTF were they thinking not telling someone information like that.   My Physical Therapist ordered a TENS machine for me, it was on my doorstep in 3 days for gods sake!  Then they tell me I have to make a consult appointment with my dentist so that he can check to see if my mouth is ready for denture……………SERIOUSLY there are people these days that are having dentures made prior to extractions of their teeth and walking out with their new denture directly after surgery, but I who had my teeth removed in OCTOBER of 2011, and it now being Jan 11th 2012, I HAVE to have an appointment to have him look at my mouth???????????  This makes NO SENSE what so ever!

We had a very relaxing Thanksgiving, honey baked ham ans all the fixings just my hubby, the dogs,ferrets and I.  Ate watched football napped and went to bed.  Before we knew it Christmas was here, we spent Christmas eve with our neighbors they are the only family we have that are reliable.  We had a blast, they are Mexican and we had a Mexican Christmas, it was so much fun, we listened to latin music danced, laughed and had the best time.  Christmas we slept in watched football had left overs they sent home with us, they were just as good as Christmas.  Hubby had to work a few days in between then New Year’s we spent with the neighbors watching movies, it was nice to be able to have someone to spend the holidays with, usually my hubby and I are alone, his family goes their own separate ways without asking or inviting us, so we are used to it after all these years, and of course if you are an avid reader of my blog, my WHOLE family both sides are big pieces of shit, so that leaves them out as well.  Our neighbor he was diagnosed with cancer 2yrs ago and it has progressed to Stage 4, he still takes chemo/radiation, but they say their isn’t much more they can do at this point they have exhausted all the options.  So we are spending as much time with him as possible, he is weak, and sleeps a lot, but will come up for supper we talk and joke and then he goes back to his room.  His kid bough him a 60 inch wide screen tv for Christmas he was so excited, it was really nice to see a smile on his face again, I know I have missed seeing it.

I am still trying to sell my sons truck that he so graciously and Adult like just left here at the house without plans on ever coming back, he even planned ahead and signed the title to that we could sell it.  Then when he got word that I was selling it he sends me a text message  ”Whatever, go ahead sell MY truck”,  to which my text response back was, “FINE fly back and  drive it back to Alaska…….btw I won’t be holding my breath waiting for you to call and give me an arrival time, oh and by the way it isn’t YOUR truck anymore, you leave things here and a signed title it becomes property of the homeowner, MOM, got a problem with it, CALL me we shall talk about how you dumped it off on us with no intentions on coming back.  Thus to which I got no response back.  I have two people wanting it one of which is only wanting to give me 1,000 for it, and the other 1,200, I could use the 1,200 to upgrade my camera and get a tripod for my new business.

Photography, I have been taking pictures since I can’t remember when and got bg into when the kids were little trying to save money on portraits on our measly little military salary.   So I have been dabbling for 22+yrs now  I am big into history as well and these to things merge with Civil War Reenactments, Plantation homes, I live in the central hub of where a lot of the Civil War battles were fought, so I have plenty to take pictures of.  I like scenery shots as well and Tennessee is just gorgeous, plenty to keep me busy as well.  My first photo shoot of the year is at the end of March, so I have time to prepare and practice

Well it’s raining here in the great state of Tennessee and has been off and on all day, I have a headache and need to get some sleep, I have a Dr appointment tomorrow at 11am, ICK  I have been having the worst time sleeping lately and have no clue why, most of the stress is out of my life, but I haven’t been feeling good don’t know if it is SAD(Seasonal Anxiety Disorder) or it’s actually something, I never really know till whatever it is hits me like a mack truck.  So I will close for now.   Hopefully it won’t be as long in between postings this go around.  We are going out with friends this Friday night to a Cajun place we have been to a few times, we should have fun there.  Maybe something Blogworthy wil happen and  I will write again sooner lol

Peace, Love and Happines

Nicole

Before I go into my actual reason for posting, I will update health wise.  Today it was been 4 weeks since my Oral surgery, and the gums are healing up great Doc says they are healing better than he imagined they would.  Yayyyy!

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Dack and I’s family have yet to prove to surprise us again this year.  Same ole same ole’  His Dad is driving two times the distance it would be to here to spend the holiday with his brother, and Dack’s brother’s “boyfriend” doesn’t like to share and won’t let his brother bring our nephews down to spend the holidays with us.  Our son left for Alaska in April and our daughter lives in Ohio and her Bio Dad brought her step sisters up so they all could spend the week with them.   So it will be just my husband and myself, we have plans with friends, & things are going to be great  Our families are fairly reliable every year, they leave us out every time,  I am used to it, my family has always been pieces of shit, however my husband was used to his mom making everyone come over and making everyone get along.  When she passed away, that all stopped and it seemed his father and brother couldn’t have been happier they finally got to do what they wanted to do……………FINALLY, to which didn’t include us.

Ok now the drumroll………………………to announce the newest “Trend”  when you decide you dont like something one of your friends does or say the newest thing is “DE-FRIENDING” them on Facebook.  Really?…………………………………..seriously like this is goint to hurt my feelings.  It tells me one thing straight on, you’re a coward, if you can’t tell me and talk to me like an adult why you have a problem with me, you think that it is going to shatter my world that you take me of your friends list.

This particular friend I know why he did it.  he started in giving me parental advise, again Hi he is a 46yr old man been divorced 20yrs and has no kids, and he decided he thought some girl he slept with years ago that had a baby that is what his.  13yrs later he goes to the grandparent tells her he is sure it is his kid and then he manages to TALK to this little girl without her MOTHER knowing(if this was my kid he would be dead) was promising to pay her college tuition, and I Pad and a shit ton of other things, all this while getting evicted from apt after apt working a temp job that does catering jobs, so he is a 46yr old waiter, who says he can get other jobs, but doesn’t.  Now………here is what I think happened and I was thinking it would happen all along.  He had a paternity test done and she isn’t his………..and OMG this guy can’t ever be wrong, he will go off the grid before someone finds out he is wrong.  What he doesn’t realize is that he is wrong a lot and a lot of ppl know, he is the only one that doesn’t know that he is wrong lol.  He claims to be a “Famous” photographer, an Award winning writer (One award), he sells himself as a novelist to which he probably sold 30 copies that he independently published so NO ONE has ever heard of his book.  He gets an article or two published in magazines, like Obscure sports digest (movie reference) His whole persona is fake.  Yet he criticizes everyone about every little fault they have, basically to make himself feel better.   So, the only reason I notice he had de friended me was my hubby has a Chrome program that tells you when someone de-friends you the date and time lol I was in using the office computer and that is where the program is on the browser.   He came in looked over my shoulder and I  had the page open to see who it was, and my hubby was like awwww   I guess you won’t get to share in all that wealth and fame he has, he is too good for you know baby, and we both laughed, and I said well at least when he gets kicked out of his next place he won’t be asking us to stay here, that is a huge plus. lol  So this new hurt your feeling’s trend…………not catching on.

He can sit and waste time pretending he is someone important, when  I know I am important my husband and kids and that is satisfaction enough.  When he is getting evicted from his next apartment, trailer, hotel or where ever I will be fast asleep, because this fellas style is to jump ship in the middle of the night.

Be aware people of St. Louis, Mo  Tommy “Jonq” as he calls himself, is his double personality where he lives out his fantasy world.  For all you CREDITORS Thomas Horan will rent from you and disappear in the night owing you rent.  He works for Temporary Companies for a reason……can’t run out on your bill when you work for a REAL corporation  Ask a sleep by numbers company manager to run his name, he bought a bed in Iowa and never paid for it or so he claims, he lives a lie so you never know when he is lying or if he even knows the difference is anymore.  His mother was a brilliant woman, she was also an alcoholic, and was bipolar schizophrenic, to which has more than noticeably been passed down to him, he feels it all a matter of mind over matter, if he thinks he isn’t mentally ill he won’t be.  LMAO  Wouldn’t it be nice if were that easy.  Be very careful around this man, I have known him my whole life, he is manipulative, vindictive, & he will be-friend you to get what he can suck out of you for his needs and then drop you like a bad habit.  He owes a mutual friend of ours quite a bit of money and as to here my friend tell it, its the opposite way around…seeing a pattern, here he lives in a twisted little world that suits his needs and his only.  Our mutual friend said he never expected to get it back when he helped him out,  He says the same as I do, he will never change, he see’s us as all being unstable, instead of the other way around.

I have recorded conversation of this man’s ramblings and my husband, friends & my psychiatrist has listened, and he said its ramblings of a bipolar schizophrenia, with Narcissistic personality disorder, & other things, he has let other Dr’s listen and this man can be dangerous the longer he goes without treatment.  So if you know him… congratulations he is your friend now and no longer mine, I don’t need any more chaos in my life.  I like it boring as it is now.

Will post again in a couple days………..until then………….BE CAREFUL ST. LOUIS, MO (kind of another movie reference ending lmao)

Here is a comparison, I caught my son lying about something so I called him on it, he lives in AK, he screamed and yelled at me, and hung up the phone, which i am sure made him feel better, all i know is I obvious made my point & touched a nerve and he was through defending himself because, well when you lie you loose that ability.  So then he did the most mature thing he could do, he “De-friended” on facebook…..this is from a 22yr old rebellious liar that caught by his Mom.  I have a friend who is 46yrs old, that called to pick a fight and i busted him on many of things, and he didn’t like how the conversation was going so he told he was fixing supper and had to go, then a week later “De=friended ” me on Facebook.  LMAO This defriending thing ills me, its like “Here take that” like Facebook is life altering. LOL awwwwwwwwww I need to go to kill myself cause they de friended me on a social networking site. lmao  Seriously is this how life is now, that your friend wil implode your world if they are not friends with you on facebook anymore.  I;m gonna share a little info with you and them if they read , which I know they do by actions that happens. lol

Here is the deal, I have a wonderful husband, great fury ids, and a great life, and great friends to spend it with.. I enjoy the new friends I make friends with Facebook, and some I have made locally and met for lunch and have a great times because we have so much in common.

My son and my friend de friend me so I cannot see what is going on in my sons life, and what isn’t going on in my friends like, plain and simple.  My friend can tell me he is some big time photographer in St. Louis, I have a few contacts from a photographer in San Fransisco, no one in the Metro St. Louis area i the photography community never heard of my friend.  I even talked to a gal that was doing a charity event to see if she would do an event for on of my chronic illness’s, & I asked her about the photographer she used, because my tells me she hired him.  She tells me she uses a Photography corp out of Los Angeles, mainly because she is in the Female MMA business, (Mixed Martial arts) so she uses professionals from the west coast, and when she asked my friends name she said she never heard of him.  again, much like my son this 46yr old lied, not a big surprise, he makes fun of other friends that have had the same job for almost 25yrs because they haven’t traveled the US like he did.  They also have never missed a car payment, a house payment and have never worried about if they are going to eat or have the things they need on a daily basis.  Everyone that is right in the world its called stability, & majority of people on the planet use this theory, & its not an odd concept.  However, for these two…..the lies between lies and real life are blurred, and they will never succeed at life continue living like this. in fact life will pass them up and before they know it they are old, alone and all their friends have grown kids and are able to go on vacations and do things they always wanted to do because they didn’t lie, and they made the choice to decide to grown up and become an adult not just “AGE”  For my son, he is always has a room in our home and always will no questioned asks, however he knows there are rules, when you live with other people, its called respect for them.  My friend he is a drifter and won’t amount to much of anything, because at this point he hasn’t as of yet and had may opportunities, he can’t commit to anything in life general, he finds i,t entirely to restricting to his freestyle life style, being broke, never knowing if he has a job from week to week, he will never meet a woman (that isn’t on a truckload of medications) that will put up with a lifestyle like he lives, most of the time he can’t even get a date, his arrogance he puts off, leaves no room for discussion, woen walk away from him laughing, because he in his mind, thinks he is everything he isn’t or will never be, Rich, successful, polite(genuinely), and he won’t stop talking about how GREAT he is, he still uses come on lines when he talks to women, him posing as a photographer, he will find a vulnerable woman, low self esteem and build her up she goes out with him, he takes some photos of her, and then she sees through him, because what he doesn’t realize is, that is he is fake, and it comes out after not having to spend much time with them, as they say your true colors show, it never takes long to show people who you really are.  A friend doesn’t call another friend to brag about how well they are doing or they have a chance to do certain things but isn’t doing them, and then to finish up the conversation giving you parental advise, when he can’t stay in a commited relationship long enough to even have kids himself.  No kids but yet dishing out advise about what a crappy parent i am.  I LIVE for these conversations and & record them and let my friends listen to what he says, they are blown away at his arrogance.  i’m like yeah…..over 45 divorced over 20yrs hasn’t been in a long committed relationship since then, and no kids…………………….one of my friends said as one of my single friends says he has a HUGE RED FLAG over him.  No one will touch him, no job, no car, getting evicted, and living for the second is great if your 2yrs old, not 46.  LMAO  We all laughed.  One of my friends husbands said that guy needs a good country ass whoopin to get him back into the real world.  he is acting like a kid in grade school, no responsibilities, he isn’t much of a man at all, other of my friends husbands agreed.  Real men he said take responsibility for  themselves, and their families, but he couldn’t manage to be man enough to get a family to take care of.  He said inhis book this friend of mine is a waste of someone taking in oxygen, that someone else could be using and being a real man.

People say women are harsh, those men that night cut straight to the chase they have no respect for him, & his life advise coming from someone with no goal in life.  i told them his Mother was mentally ill, and that i believe that it is setting on him, my shrink says it could be that he has always had the mental illness that his mother had, it is progressing now and is getting worse, and since he believes that we all have it in us to “Fix” ourselves, that we go to doctors and get medications that dont’ work on the problem, you just have to be stronger than your affliction.  Wow, wouldn’t it be great if it were that easy, & the fact what it is realy about him not turing into his mother with her mental illness, that is his biggest fear and thus he  lives the lifestyle of someone with a mental illness that won’t seek help, any psychiatrist said that straight up.  he can deny it but he lives it and others that know family members and friends that have untreated mental illness’s can see through him instantly.  He can’t payhis rent, but he is quick to point fingers at you for things you do wrong, or he thinks you do wrong, and he will be relentless not letting up til he feels he has degraded you enough to his own sick satisfaction. then move onto something else.  Oh to go back to his photography skils, he took a picture of my family, at the time he lived in the area so i framed it, friends would come over and tell us the “family” looked like it should be on a a cD cover for band. i said yeah everyone tells us that, it doesn’t look like we wanted it to at all, but he was the “creative one” we didn’t get a choice on what pictures we wanted taken, what kind of photographer doesn’t listen to his clients, & what they want, its not about what he wants, that isn’t what they are paying him for.  We didn’t pay he owed me a couple favors so I called them in.  What’s funny is all 3 of us have copies, and none of us know where they are lol Cause we sure as hell weren’t putting them out for people to see.  lol

I believe i am finished ranting, its a chilly day here in Southern TN, but sunny so hopefully it will warm up, friends and us are hoping to do thanksgiving dinner, his dad owns a ton of those rental cabins in Pigeon forge/DollyWood area, Johnson city , Tn area and we are going to stay up there and have thanksgiving up there, 3 hot tubs, a heated pool, with a beautiful view, all perks of having his dad owning them, our friend got the biggest one with all the perks.  His dad was up last night we talked to him he said after football he was goig to put our friend (his son) & my hubby to work for a day so my friend and i could have a girls day on him.so i am looking forward to a holiday for once in my life.

Peace love and Happiness

Nicole

So on to the next fumy thing, this same “friend” is back to giving me advise on how my children are living their lives and how basically everything is my fault, I enabled them, I spoiled them, and that if they fail in life it will be my fault.  My children & myself are bipolar, I have been on meds for 10 yrs and my daughter is getting her therapist situated and getting on her meds.  My “Friend” says bipolar isn’t for real, you can take the meds but after a couple of years you won’t need them any longer. LOL  So for a unemployed, 46yrs old, unmarried man with no children, is throwing out parenting advise, psychiatric advise, & he is an all around knowledgeable guy when it comes to life experience, but then again he should know, his life is like a 60′s flower child of Charles Manson, live free like you want do as you want, don’t let the man take over, live day to day, no responsibilities but you……….that is my “friend”  I think its probably a good idea to “take yet another break from him.  He didn’t mention this girl that he swears he has with this woman, the little girl is 13 and my “friend” doesn’t even really know if the girl is his or not but has called her gotten in touch with her promised to have her college tuition, promised to pay for her to have an Ipad, for the last three yrs, all this WITHOUT a paternity test.  He called today and not one word was mentioned about this little girl…….I believe the paternity test came back negative for him, and I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad, the last thing this little girl needs is a broke, unmarried, non committed, irresponsible man.  She has a father figure that has been in her life and he is stable has a steady job, committed to her, and there is stability in her life, I am glad that this little girl has someone stable in her life, and that my “friend” is lacking in every single one of those category.

On to how I am doing, my friend says I always talk about me, well my, its my blog so I can lol   My teeth are healing up really fast, still no pain, and my Doc appointment he was really impressed and most of my stitches have fallen out, and he said the bone has dropped and almost finished dropping in the back where the molars were, the holes are almost closed up, so he said about a month everything should be smoothed and complete healed, then just wait till the first week of Jan to get my dentures fitted and then get them, and get used to them lol

My son, still lying, still not calling, and I am still extremely disappointed in him.  I can’t begin to put into words how he has hurt me and the level of disappointment he has given me.  Lying, manipulation, there is no need for it from a grown man.  I won’t tolerate it from a person off the street, or a family member.  He will have to learn about life the hard way, no college, and he didn’t want to be around family, so, he will have to work 10x harder because he will have no help.  The best thing I can do for him is let him be himself or who he thinks he wants to be for now, and let him choose his path.

I am going to get ready for bed

Peace, Love , & Happiness

Nicole

Surgery went well, only took an hour and I was done, Doc told hubby and that the 12 teeth extraction went very smooth and everything looks great and he sees no problems.  It is a HUGE, weird sensation of having no top teeth LOL  Even harder to “TRY” to eat. lol  For 41yrs I ate without thinking, and now…………not so much LMAO  You have no idea until you get that many teeth extracted how much you relied on the top teeth to eat.    Mac n Cheese, jello, pudding, spaghetti with just sauce, chocolate milk flat room temperature tea, or soda, are my best buds for a while.  Here is is day 4 and my gums are still very sore they look A LOT better than they did the 1st day.   It was suggested that I rinse my mouth out with salt water or no alcohol mouthwash.  my husband suggest salt water would be best.  I tell him I don’t do well with salt water.  I put a small amount in my mouth and vomited 3 times, the salt was so strong, so my husband then cut it 1/4 I trired it again not willingly, but vomited again more times than the first time.  I rinsed my mouth out with water, then used the listerine no alcohol.  My facial and gum muscles are ALL so sore, I called my doc he said that he sprained my facial muscles during surgery and that I just made it worse and sprained them worse by vomiting.  He had me take pictures of my stitches in my mouth to make sure I didn’t tear or rip up any of the stitches, he saw and they all looked good, I hav a follow up appt on Tues after lunch.

Well my son has been is a liar, it’s official, he has been lying to me since Christmas of last yearm that I KNOW of & I just found out a week ago.  Does it hurt, yes badly, am I surprised, No.  My son is 22yrs old he does what he wants when he wants and no one tells him otherwise.  He is Bipolar/manic depressive, he rapid cycles, and does very mean things to me once he moves away.  He has the courage to be nasty , mean and hateful to me when he doesnt’ have to look me in the eye.

My son has hit an all time low with me this time though, which leaves me with thoughts that breaks my hearts into so many pieces that it cannot be put back together.  I had surgery on the 25th of this month, not once did he he call my husband to see if the surgery had started, or how it was going had he heard anything from the Doc, was the surgery going well, nothing.  He didn’t call that evening to see how I was feeling, or how the surgery went if there were any complications, not one call to check.  Here is it the 30th 5 days later, we havent’ heard anything from him, no call to check even after 5 days.  His own mother had surgery and he has not called to check to see i fI am ok.  That is unacceptable as a friend let alone a family member, especially your mother.  My husband said goodness knows what he is telling himself to justify him not wanting to find out, or the lack of care.  I spoke with his former therapist and she said it sounds as if ihe is getting worse as far as the bipolar , that it tends to get worse and it comes out meaner in men the longer they go without asking for help with getting medication.  She also said that his excuse of him going into the military service is not an excuse anylonger, she said she knew he had no intention of going in, and theat he let on hints that he wasn’t going in, she said him trying to fool her by letting her think he was still on the medication was and is typical of bipolars that go off their meds, they think that they are smarter than the people they talk to, she said he said things to me he had no idea he was saying.  I knew he wasnt’ going to go in the military and that he was going to do soemthing drastic and  it required him leaving this area, because he didn’t want to be the person that he was being here, he wanted to be kind of a “rogue” on his own no one to give him advise such as myself of you his mother.  He felt trapped here, he needed to get so far away so that no one could touch him that cared about him.  Friends dont’ care, they are people to have fun with, they will let you do what you want, and not judge him, that is what he wants, and that is what he is getting and it is working for him for now.  He is 22yrs old, his therapist said that with bipolar he can live like this for the rest of his life IF he doesn’t get and ask for help.  Eventually his friends will grown up and move on with their lives, get married have kids, get good jobs and leave Chris out.  Then he will have a couple choices, he will find younger friends, or he will live out a life trying to hang on to his old friends, but their families will be more important, and they will have to start telling Chris they can’t do things, and Chris will start to be left out.  His friends will have new friends, friends with kids, friends that they have more in common with than going out drinking and doing stupid things.  his friends will have family responsibilities and tell chris that those days are over.  Then Chris will be still working at a grocery store while his friends are in the military or have college educated jobs and families and Chris will be out in the cold. She said he is what she calls a “bridge burner” if he feels a friend has done him wrong that he cannot justicfy being fixed, he will walk away from them, burn the bridge so that he cannot cross back over because he doesn’t want to fix it, mainly because it was his fault the friendship ended.  He can’t admit he is wrong ever.  Basically she told me basical information that mostly I already knew.  She was very sad to hear that he had gotten mad over something to trivial as a trip to TX, then not talking to you and calling to find out about a surgical procedure about his own mother.  She said he may be throwing you in the group as a “bridge burner”  you questioned his decision and he felt threatened so therefore you are not allowed to be in his life anymore.

My son called me three weeks ago and volunteered information that he had almost enough money to get his tattoo removed so that he could go in the AF.  All this information he gave me I never asked.  Then I get up one morning and look on my Facebook, & there is a picture of my son standing next to his friend who(he was supposed to go through basic training with) with my son standing in civilian clothes, and his friend in his AF dress blues, My son flew from Anchorage, Ak to San Antonio, Tx, after two weeks prior he told me he “almost” had enough to get the tattoos removed.  I had a friend crunch some numbers for me and she said roughly it cost him 1200.00 to get to San Antonio, Tx flying rental car he told me he had and hotel for 3 days.  I admit I jumped on him in Mom mode, here I thought he was living pay check to pay check, come to find out he had enough money and then some to go in the AF and go with his friend, but chose not to.  I jumped his ass, I shouldn’t have but it was instinct, I couldn’t help myself.  Here he was had a chance to get in the air force and he starts telling me how he talked to an Army recruiter told him he could keep the tattoo.  All I was thinking is, this is all about him NOT getting rid of the tattoo, has he lied about having it covered up, to which I can do with my micro pigmentation equipment, but he didn’t want to do that, now I know why.  So onto wrapping this paragraph up, today is my 42nd birthday, and along with no phone call to see how my surgery went on the 25 through today to see how I am doing, I have gotten no birthday call from him.  I just found out my husband called and left him a voice mail yesterday and I have gotten not a call or a text since then.  the longer he waits, the worse it get for him, he just doesn’t realize what he is going to me and the relationship, nor do I think he care at this moment.  He is an adult is what he keeps telling us, yet fails to act like one.  I can honestly say I am more disappointed in my son right now that I have ever been in his life, and it is going to take him getting some serious therapy and getting back on his meds to make up for what he has done.

Happy Birthday to me

Peace, love and & happiness

Nicole